Michael Robert Johnson
Robert Downey Jr.
"Crime is common. Logic is rare."
Some of you out there have your knickers all in a twist, trying not to fall as you run down the cobblestone streets screeming gloom and doom. Your ass hurts, and you are complaining of your favorite detective being raped by some filmmaker who's best work to date involves a man named Turkish.
And by jove you are vocal.
"Holmes does belong to fight club!"
Well maybe Holmes did, and the first rule of fight club is you do not talk about fucking fight club.
"Holmes is gay!"
His partner is Jude Law. Have you scene The Talented Mr. Ripley? He almost made me gay.
"Rachel McAdams has no business being in this film!"
Okay, you might have me on that one. But she's cute as hell, and Gwenyth Paltrow can't be in every British film. Plus, her Downey Jr. quota is already filled with Iron Man. It does make me wonder what Kiera Knightly was so busy doing though.
Have I got most of the common complaints covered? Oh wait, "the special effects sucked." Again, valid argument, but Guy Ritchie is not a special effects guy. You want that, go see the Revolutionary Blue People/Monkey Movie with the Fiber Optic Sex Organs.
I found Sherlock Holmes to be a thoroughly enjoyable movie.
I got everything I wanted from this movie. Did they show Holmes is one smart mofo? Heck yeah, and they did it in interesting ways. He's got the fight all mapped out in his head before he throws a punch. Seems logical.
Using all of his senses to solve crimes. In spades.
Great relationship with Watson? Of course. Downey and Law were a great pairing, and there back and forths were worth the price of admission alone. But they were not just BFF's. They worked well together. It was a nice touch to make Holmes jealous of Watson's upcoming nuptuals. And anyone, and I'd include my mom, who describes their relationship as a bromance will be hit with the nearest large object. Only Paul Rudd is allowed to use that word without a beating.
But my favorite part of the film was when Ritchie showed just what a Miserable Bastard Holmes is when not working on a case. He'll sit alone in a darkened room, pout, and experiment on dogs, much like those who listen to Emo music. Nice touch. But when he's on a case, charisma to spare. Anyone who didn't laugh at his "keys to my release" line is without humor.
So if you've got your complaints, tell them to somebody else. I get it. It was not Basil Rathbone prancing about in a silly cap holding a magnifying glass in one hand while stroking his pipe with the other. But's it's Guy Ritchie's best film since Snatch.
And admit it, you got just a tiny bit aroused when Moriarty was "revealed."
I will be eagerly awaiting the sequel.
Mosaic Noir #113
9 hours ago